Memoirs of a Church Girl

December 30, 2011  I was watching a documentary on Animal Planet recently titled ‘Monster Bug Wars’. I can’t say if the producers set up these fights (like they do with Wrestlemania) or if it was really nature doing its thing. But they paired the most unlikely insects and creepy crawlies against each other in fights which were often to the death. The one that really got my attention was between a spider and a bizarre looking specie of the cricket. The cricket was at least four times larger than the spider and was covered with a form of armor, spikes and all. But in the course of the fight it made a fatal mistake in a dive that landed it straight into the web of the spider. I was rooting for the cricket so I was happy when I saw the web tear as the cricket struggled to free itself. But to my shock the spider, quick as a flash started to spin its web round the legs of the cricket, binding it tightly. When the legs where secured it got busy tying up the res...

Years back I lived with a sister whom for the purpose of this writing I will refer to as Sister Files and Data. I gave her this name because she seemed to know everyone’s secret. I mean she had classified information about every one that meant anything in DC. If she had no info about you it was simply because you had never appeared in her line of vision. I was in awe of her ability to scrap out dirt from even the holiest of saints. She was a live Google search engine and all you needed to do was just type in a name .She spared no one. Not Pastors, not their wives not church workers, nor anyone that appeared zealous for the Lord. Everyday as soon as I came back from work she would start giving me hot and juicy gist about this person or that person. I knew I didn’t need all that information but somehow I gave myself the excuse that It would be rude to walk out on her or rebuke her since she was older than me both in ministry and in age. So I listened, I never said a word a...

Two ladies I happen to mentor called me on the phone to inquire about the authenticity of two messages they recently listened to on tape. It was about     some individuals who claim they had died and had had divine encounters of heaven and hell and Jesus delivering special messages to them for the church. Well, I am not a stranger to such accounts as I have read a few books on similar claims and have even listened live and first hand to at least three that brought powerful revival to my spiritual life. But there was something strange about these two. Both claim that Christ had told them among other things, to inform Christian ladies that all wearing of jewellery and trousers would lead them to hell. Also they spent good time mentioning the names of God’s servants who were on their way to hell or where already in hell. One of my mentees had already runoff with the whole thing by getting rid of all her jewellery and had loosened her well-made hair to the annoyance of he...