PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

About twenty something years ago I
did something really awful. I took
something that belonged to my best
friend.

You see Chi and I were best friends
like David and Jonathan but her
parents didn’t like me especially her
mom. She kept telling me “my mom
thinks you’ll get me into deep
trouble one day” and I would always
roll my eyes and go “chi you know
that’s not possible” I was very
confident that I loved her so much I
wouldn’t pull out a hair from her
head even if she asked me to.
I remember very clearly each time I
walked into her house her mom
would stiffen and wear a frown no
matter how well I greeted and
curtsied. I knew she didn’t like me
and I honestly didn’t care. All that
mattered was that I and her daughter
were friends for life. I expected her
to deal with it.

Anyways, after we both left
secondary school we both went in
search of simple jobs in order to
earn some pocket change. So we
went about from school to shop
looking for who would hire us.
One day she called me out excitedly
and announced,
’ I just got an offer to teach in a
nursery school the owner asked me
to come back tomorrow.’
‘Wow! ‘Which school? I asked also
excited
‘Oh Tope Nursery school’
‘Eh!  Where is it?’
‘Just along spibat road’
‘Great , I’m happy for you. So how
much are they offering to pay you? I
asked
‘Two thousand Naira’ my sweet and
trusting friend informed me.
‘Hei! All that ‘I quickly calculated all
the nice stuff I could buy with 2k J
I knew right then that the job was
mine and not hers. I deserved that
money. In fact I was going to get that
job for myself.
So the very next day I dressed up
smartly and went straight to the
school. I was out to impress and I
did. I got the job and went home
feeling good.

I’m thinking maybe I was either high
on something or I was just plain
stupid but I went straight to her
house, called her out excitedly and
announced to her that I just got a job.
‘Eh! Which school? She asked also
excited
‘Oh Tope Nursery school’
Her expression changed to a mixture
of heartbreak and anger.
‘Ijay but that’s where I told you
about yesterday. How could you do
this?’ she cried
It was then the blanket of greed and
covetousness released its grip from
my mind. Of course she let me know
exactly how she felt about me and I
could only stand there crying and
telling her how sorry I was. You see I
was so blinded by jealousy and
covetousness I had temporarily lost
my sense of common reasoning. I
grabbed her hand as she tried to turn
away in disgust and said I was sorry
and that I was so ashamed of myself.
I felt the deepest remorse and pain
knowing I had hurt her and I was
about to lose a true friend.
‘Please I don’t want the job again’ I
begged and begged.
I don’t want it either’ she snarled. I
begged and begged and because we
were best friends she forgave me.
But her mom saw it all from behind
the window.

I slithered back to my flat feeling like
shit that was left under the rain. I
never ever knew I was capable of
what I did. I actually thought I was a
decent human being and prided
myself in being good.
Our relationship struggled for
months after that mainly because her
mom made her life miserable with
the occasional,’Ntoooo! Onye nzuzu!’( meaning 'serves you right! Silly girl'  to put it nicely)
But I tried my best to make it up to
her and we remained best friends
until life separated our paths. I was
the one that eventually led her to
Christ.

I don’t know why I remembered this
story. Maybe because for a while I’ve
been pondering on the subject of
unforgiveness, and then I realize
hey! I might just be able to conduct
digital deliverance on someone out
there who is hurting badly.
In fact as soon as I typed up to this
point I read it out to my oga and first
daughter. He had no idea I was
writing about myself. Somehow I
never told him the story because I
had truly forgotten about it. So I
asked him what he thought about it
and he replies in his usual quiet
manner,
‘It’s ok’.
I tried to get more out of him but he
just gave me another’ it’s ok’. I turn
to my girl for encouragement and
she goes with her beautiful massive
smile, ‘mommy it’s excellent’
‘ewuuu, nwa mara obi nne ya!” I
exclaim and give her a big hug and
she quizzed,
‘Mommy what’s that?’ she quizzed (I
make a mental note to be committed
in teaching them Igbo language)
Then she asked ‘mommy who was
that your friend?’ and I answered
‘You don’t know her’ I noticed my
oga’s head snap up
‘You mean that was you?’ he asks
‘Yes’ I replied feeling slightly
embarrassed as he shakes his head
sadly
‘That was terrible’
‘I know’

Any way back to my writing. See we
are all made of clay. We are all
human and humans are fallible. We
hurt people and people hurt us. We
all hurt. People cheat, lie, and
murder, connive, hate, and steal
husbands and girlfriends and wives.
People slander and slash others back.
That’s the way it is. And guess what
we all have the capacity where it not
for the grace of God .
Psss! I think it’s time you step down
from your unrealistically high horse
because it is mainly pride that keeps
us in the bondage of unforgiveness.
Someone said unforgiveness is like a
man drinking poison and hoping it
kills some other person. It is a cancer
more deadly because it can hardly be
detected until it metastasises beyond
the individual and begins too wreck
homes and relationships that were
meant to last a life time.
‘How could he! How could she’. Well,
she could because she can and you
could because you can too (forgive
me if this doesn’t make sense). I’m so
glad my friend chose to forgive me.
It was a choice she made even
though I was sure she didn’t feel like
it and I certainly didn’t merit it.
Hey! Calm down, take a deep breath
and start to remember all those close
shaves you had that no one knows
about. Yes the ones that made you
wonder about yourself. You almost
did it too…but you didn’t by divine
intervention. Also remember the
ones you didn’t plan to do but ended
up doing and when you came to God
broken and penitent He forgave you
in a heartbeat and kept on loving
you like it never happened.
‘Let it Goooooo! Like they sing in
that ‘Frozen’ animation that I’m
honestly tired of hearing my girls
sing every day till date. Please let it
go. No man or woman is worth that
much bile or burning in hell for.
Jesus (how I love that name) said,
For if ye forgive men their
trespasses, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you: But if ye forgive not
men their trespasses, neither will
your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matt 6:14 - 15