Memoirs of a Church Girl

She watched through the window as Chiji drove in through the gate. The gate keeper helped him take some stuff out of the car and he made his way into the house. The days she would excitedly rush down to welcome him home had gone eons ago. What was the point when he was always as unresponsive as a metal pole? The kids were fast asleep, time to shower and catch some sleep for herself. She stood up and headed for the bathroom for her evening shower. She felt alive for the first time in a long time. Maybe it was a sense of adventure in the fact that she was doing something that she would never have thought of doing some years back. Maybe it was reuniting with Ken that made her feel extra alive.  After another chat he'd asked for her number and she had gladly given it. Calls were always better. Hearing his voice for the first time after so many years bathed her with a warmth that was unbelievable . He still sounded the same. Nothing had changed. “You still listen to MJ?” he was ...

Ken was always going to be the underdog. It was as if fate wouldn’t permit her to have the one thing that could bring her joy. As she bathed her kids and got them ready for sleep she thought about him more freely . No use struggling to keep thoughts of him out of her mind. Her response to his message and her consequent resolve to get back in touch with him opened up the dam she had kept securely locked up for 12 years. She remembered every little detail. It was eerie how clear it was after these years. There were no grey areas, everything was crystal clear. She remembered. It was her second year. No guy had succeeded in hunting her down during the crazy JAMB rush so she was still very single. She was a tad too mature for all that. Truth was she never had interests in starting a relationship with any campus boy; she was eyeing bigger fish that were already swimming in the corporate world. Her friends would ‘yab’ her for her aloofness, “Don’t mind Kiki, she did her own matric befo...

They drove in absolute silence. His concentration on the road ahead seemed a bit too much. She knew there were no streetlights on this side of town but then the headlights on their car worked just fine, that and the headlights on all the other cars ensured the road was well illuminated. As usual she would make some effort to start a conversation but he would respond only in grunts, monosyllables and an occasional pissed look on his face. As always she would fall into silence, feeling a bit rejected. Eventually she would search in her purse and fish out her phone. Hello Insta baby, hi Facebook, whatsapp! Whatsapp! Faithful friends, wonderful conversations. It’d become a circle and she was caught up in. Why ask her to join him if he was going to treat her like a stranded stranger he picked along the road on a very wet and stormy day. She was always excited whenever she had to go out with him, even if it was the shortest distance. Out of the few remaining things they still did togethe...

Stuck in a traffic jam along presidential Road yesterday, I was not in a very pleasant mood. I had  a very important appointment to catch up with and I had no intention of appearing late. At least 30 hawkers lined the different sides of the road selling from minty bubble gums to paintings. Usually if I was bored enough I would use the opportunity to test my haggling  prowress on hawkers or just simply get on their nerves by staring long and hard at their ware  when I know I have no intention of buying anything. Within seconds, as if I called each of them telepathically, they would all break into a mad run for my car 'Madam, gala' 'Loolo, buy lacasera' 'Fine woman , buy this kaajad glasses, madamu kajara akaja' 'Wiper' , 'dryfish' , 'soup container' 'Buy rat poison' that one always annoyed me 'I dont have rat in my house' I would retort Then he would give me that 'yea right' look. But yesterday I maintain...

Do you remember that guy or girl you fell in love with as a teenager? Maybe he/she was your bff’s sibling or just some random PYT (pretty young thing) or TDH (tall, dark and handsome) stranger that always swaggered or swung past your house. For some reason your attention was captured and that triggered off the hormones responsible for silly day dreams and heart tremors. Yes! That one you always did “notice me or I die” for. Luckily for some of us, as teens that imagination never had the chance to blossom or grow into anything or grow anywhere outside our heads because we either had extremely nosy siblings or parents who would literally knock your daylights out if they even suspected. Bottom line there was always someone around to pour sand into your emotional garri or knock you back into the straight and narrow path. Very few feelings can equal the ‘falling in love’ feeling. I tell you very few things can. That feeling eh! I know there is always a reason for whatever God designs b...

'Why don't you just join the army?' Even though he said it jokingly I knew it was not a compliment. That was my hubby's response to me 6 years ago when I felt being a woman was all minus and no plus and I handled our marital issues with alot of aggression . I was convinced that whatever issue I had with my hubby then was always going to end on his terms. I felt no one understood me  so I set out to protect myself. Almost every issue seemed to have one solution, submit to your husband and I was literally sick and tired of hearing that . Why was that the solution to every problem?, why did I have to bend over to breaking point to get my marriage to work?, why do I have to be the one to loose weight and work tirelessly to remain attractive to this man? Why ? Why ? Why? I just wanted someone to understand things from my point of view. It was in the course of that  rough patch in marriage that I discovered the Holy Spirit in a whole new way. I could vent my frustratio...

Believe me or not I'm not trying to be controversial. I know some people will be outraged at my opinion but...well...it doesn't matter! Feminism has nothing to offer me so I have no interest in it. The same way bird watching or lets say philately has never captured my attention because I believe they add nothing to me in any way. Any ideology that doesn't make me a bit more like Jesus  or make me believe there is something worth loving in others or make me treat others the way I would want them to treat me is a complete waste of time. We live in a dog eat dog world so why are we hell bent on making things so complicated. The average man thinks women are having it too easy, they think our lives are just about our makeup and heels and looking pretty and having them pay all the bills.Women on the other hand think men are masochist who are running the world to hell. Can't we all just get along?   The one that annoys me most is when these feminist bring God into ...