TRIBUTE TO A LONG GONE FRIEND.

What I felt for her came as close to being in love as anyone could get without the sexual feelings that often ruin wonderful, God ordained relationships.
We had been roommates in law school and out of five mismatched ladies tightly fitted in an upstairs room in a Nigerian Law school  hostel she was the only one that noticed I was suffering in silence.
I was loosing weight without planning to because I was as hungry as hell. Prior  to that I had been branded a family rebel for daring to leave the family's traditional church and I was paying the price for my obstinacy. In Law school, full of my school grown UNN alumnus ego, and Christian martyrdom. I wasn't going to ask anyone for anything.
Dupsy noticed. She watched me for a while and noticed I wasn't eating, and I barely had the recommended law books. So one day when we where alone she asked me,
'Ijay what's wrong... are you ok ?'
' I'm fine ' I replied
' No you are not... you look depressed' she insisted
At this point I was calculating in my head what to tell her and what to leave out in order to still retain my dignity since we barely knew each other. I felt a gentle nudge in my heart when I realised she was genuinely concerned about me...that's a first, People always assume I'm fine because of the way I'm built and because I always look sure of myself.
So with lots of tears I let it spill. I was going through another phase of rejection and I felt like that would be my lot forever.
The empathy exuding from her could be felt. She cried with me and gave me a hug.
' See  Ijay we are sisters...you don't have to be suffering like this nah'
From that day she shared everything she had with me.
Eventually God intervened and my mum after seeing me in a dream starving to death threw caution to the wind and came to visit with all she could lay her hands on.
But that period birthed a true friendship and a great sisterhood experience.
Dupe Fagbola was indescribable. She was genuine, she was lovely and lively, she was a woman of God.
She would yab my very dry / non existent love life and I would openly tell her I coverted her good looking fiance. We would laugh. I would tell her about the soul tie I was just delivered from and she would tell me of her own insecurities.
She was funny to the bone and acted like a clown way too often but she did it with so much class, it was amazing.
She was a plus size half Yoruba, half Akwaibom stunner graceful and full of wisdom. She would observe everything even though she could give you the impression nothing was to be taken seriously.
' Ijay so you spoilt that Rayban glasses because it's not an original...don't you know that you give value to things and not things giving you value'
' Ijay why do you see something funny in everything...abeg you laugh too much' '
' why don't you study more with the compendium instead of trying to cram the whole law notes?'

One day we had a fight like friends do sometimes. Even the silence was funny. I would walk into the room and she would roll her massive eyes at me and I would give her my best ' na you sabi ' expression. It dragged on for way too long. Both of us waiting for who would apologise first.
Then one day I guess even God was tired of the drama and intervened by sending wind. Not a spiritual wind but a physical wind.
Dupe had lovingly stacked all her fiance's love letters ,notes, cards, from day one to that day. Everything the guy penned to her was a golden treasure even the ones in yellow stick it paper.  She would bring them out once in a while and read them out to me and I would just be tripping at this guy waxing lyrical over the love of his life. strangely I never envied her , the much I did was to day dream  that someday, someone would love me like that.
So this wind sent by the Lord came and blew away my friend's large envelope full of love letters because she had carelessly left it by the window.

I came into the room and saw her crying like a massive baby. I forgot we were not talking and rushed to her side.
'Dupsy what's the matter
'My letters! She managed to say in between bawling,heaves and tears.
I knew instantly what she meant and struggled between pity and slapping the back of her head.
She pointed at the window and I looked down to see the letters strewn all over the wet grass downstairs.
I thought if they meant that much to her then I would get them for her. I went after the letters. Surprisingly non suffered any total damage . All they needed was to be dried and that was it.

Law school was fun because we where always together. She was everybody's  friend , a few could also claim her as best friend and she made everyone feel special in her world.

My first trip to Lagos was on her invitation, I met her ageless mom, her graceful big sister and the hazel eyed younger sister. I became family as well.
My second trip to Lagos , was her wedding where I slayed with the rest of her friends in the Asoebi team.
My third trip to Lagos was to stay over at her house and get the low down on all her marital experiences. But I never got to see her. I got a call in between Lagos and Sagamu that Dupe had passed on. So instead of seeing my friend I ended up attending her burial. I refused to see her corpse and I'm glad I didn't because when I think of her I don't see a lifeless woman. I still see Dupsy, a giant.

' How do people like her just die?'
I battled depression for days and weeks and I asked God questions I know I had no business asking.

I remember her all the time, its been over 12 years and strangely I still haven't forgotten that time when my friend and sister was still alive and would light up the place with her big personality.
I still love her and I know she made it and is with Jesus.