Memoirs of a Church Girl

The man walked purposefully into the grandfather clock shaped structure made of wood (I'll call it THE SHED). Although it stood in enigmatic isolation on a sandy plain  there was something more to it...the manifest presence of Elohim was on it. The man stepped into the tight space, knelt down and in a second the presence of God wrapped round Him like a warm soothing blanket. He closed his eyes and was immediately transported into the realm where glory, love and light intertwine in a celestial dance. I saw him walk in and out day after day in divine obsession. But soon something changed. A tiny dot of something that clouded the crystal clear water in the well of His Koinonia with Elohim. It was oh so subtle and its entry so perfectly silent he did not know the when or the how or the why. It was no longer about Elohim, it was now about THE SHED. And in the speed of light, the very moment it became about THE SHED I saw the presence of Elohim lift  like a veil made of glitt...

I t happened about 14 or more years ago somewhere at Mbari Street, Owerri. I alighted from  an Okada and for some reason we disagreed over the fare. The details are all blurry now. Really I can't even recall the exact details but one thing I can never forget is the pure hatred that emanated from him as I gently tried to explain that he was mistaken. The curses that he spewed out of his lips without any real provocation shocked me. He didn't curse me in the name of Amadioha, or Arunsi Okuzu...no. He cursed me in the name of Jesus Christ. It then dawned on me that he was a believer just like me. After so many years I still remember my shock. You see people can forget everything but they'll never forget how you made them feel. I stared at him in disbelief. He actually believed God would curse me because I annoyed him. I just shook my head and walked away. Well, after 14 years you all can see how effective his curses where on My life. Does a fountain bring out at the same pl...

Now this is a bit odd but  when I think of the love walk  the figure that comes to my mind is the striding man logo and the 'Keep walking' campaign of a certain brand. The  love walk is what it is...a walk, a daily walk. It becomes immaterial that I walked  yesterday or last year if I'm not walking today and I don't plan to walk tomorrow. You never stop walking. You walk when its convienent and when it's not. You walk when you're appreciated and when you are despised and rejected. You walk in the rain, under the blazing sun and in the hurricane winds because love is a nature. We who are in Christ have it within all of us and it can weather any storm. '...Because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us'.  Romans 5: 5 . LEARNING TO WALK. I have a month old baby who is being cuddled and carried about right now. However there is no doubt in my heart that when the time is right he will walk, just like his 3 ...

Have you ever heard of the word 'Cephalophore'. Ok lets go back to those ancient and medieval times when preaching the gospel or going against the institutionalized churches had the grim penalty of a beheading. History has it that some of these ancient mystics (some of them women) would stand up pick up their heads and walk away and give themselves a proper burial. Kind of reminds you of the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow, right?  Apostle Paul is famed to be one of them. His decapitated head was said to have said the name of Jesus Christ up to thirty times before it fell silent, never to preach about that name on earth again. These are men and women who operated on a mystic level that was unbelievable. Some of them willingly gave themselves to be burnt  and flayed as if it was some kind of fun game. Hebrews 11 spoke of these class of people, ''and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection:And others had trial ...

It's so easy to fall into the trap of complacency. I did at a stage in my life. I would go for weeks without touching my bible , would go most mornings without praying and sometimes wouldn't even bother to take notes in church. You know that feeling of 'I'm on top of the game here'... its just sinful pride. I felt I'd come to a stage in my life where I could do just fine with stuff I already knew and believe me when I say I knew alot. But that's a fallacy of epic proportions but I didnt realize it. I was feeling just fine doing stuff for the Lord you know. So at at the beginning of the next year when this madness was at it's peak I decided to go on a fast and seek the Lord's face. The new year was staring me in the face and I had big plans to suceeed personally and do bigger things for the Lord. But when I look back I realize my motives where messed up. Like our Warri brethren would say, 'I no wan carry last' and I knew God was the only forc...

Personal interest and not imagination rules the world. Personal interest can launch a thousand battleships, drive mankind to the extremes,blind us to the needs of others, and blur the distinct lines between good and evil. Only those who exist for something, a divine course outside and beyond themselves will seek truth, know the truth and accept it at all costs and then live for it. These are the few true heroes who walk among us. We all pay homage to God's word and declare it as the divine standard. But when it conflicts with our personal interests we begin to prove that we are masters in the art of manipulation and subversion. When truth is hidden behind the mask of interpretation our personal interests always wins. You discover personal interest behind the veil of moral, spiritual compromise and the plethora of false doctrines flooding the church, I am of the opinion that no doctrine contrary to God's word will be propounded, peddled or accepted if it does not profit som...

If God calls you to do something just do it! Forget if people notice and applaude or not. Eventually whatever is born (originates) of God overcomes the world. Soon people will wonder why they failed to notice such a gift. Don't consult your past, don't ever say 'but I'm prone to goofing things up' remember that He who called you is faithful. He will do it Himself but it will be on record that He used you to do it. Don't be intimidated by the giants that are already there. All giants started as babies too. If you persevere in obedience one day you too will become a giant. Stop struggling with people's impressions and perceptions about you. People hardly know how to stay in there lane so just ignore the whisperings and the mockery, real or percieved. Look into those perfect eyes of Jesus and you will see a perfect reflection of you. You don't have to tell everyone of the vision given to you by God. It will amaze you that some people you are pretty ...

I'm so sober this morning !. As I flipped the pancakes my kids insisted I make for their breakfast, I heard Him speaking to me about RESTORING TRUE REVERENCE FOR THE GOD HEAD! I knew I had to put it down quickly at the risk of burning breakfast. "Prayer is going on in church and you are outside doing whatever you think is more important. Praise and worship time is ideal for gisting with the girls and guys. But as soon as  your pastor climbs the pulpit you rush inside and sit, putting on your most sanctified expression. Who are you fooling? You have a problem and while I'm waiting  lovingly to discuss and resolve it with you, you're on your way dialing the number of whoever you believe has the solution to your troubles. Whose fooling who here? You would shiver at the thought of your pastor discovering some private aspects of your life and would faint if any one threatened to expose it, but you have no qualms with the fact that I'm living within you and ha...

Scene 1 'How can a believer commit such abomination?' his face was hot and his eyes red with righteous indignition. The object of the discussion was another brother who had fallen into the sin of fornication. He wasnt 'swimming' or even 'basking' in sin, it was a terrible mistake he'd made by being ignorant of the devices of satan and failing to put boundaries in place. He was crushed and had gone to 'report' himself and word somehow got out. So this our other brother was raving and ranting about 'holiness' not understanding that the very fact that he was still standing was not because he was some super hero but purely a function of grace. If he understood grace it would have made him humble. I could never forget his words, they were righteous, but reflected a mean and unforgiving disposition...and I wondered, 'why do we christians sometimes find it harder to forgive than God?' The story didn't end there, it wasn't t...

I saw something today I never thought I'd ever see. I've heard pastors use it to buttress points while teaching and personally I've used it unfailingly while teaching on 'Christian Devotion' What did I see? A tanker full of fuel (not sure if it was pms or diesel ) that broke down because it ran out of Fuel . I watched with amusement as the driver siphoned fuel from a teeny weeny  20 litre gallon into the humongous vehicle. Hilarious right! This to me  represents the tragedy of the modern day minister...so full of activities while the secret place remains deserted. Someone I respected and still respect so much told me as a young believer to study all I can because a time will come in my later years when I just won't have time to study as much. I swallowed it,  believed it and never for once doubted that statement. I expected it too so it wasn't a surprise when that time also came upon me suddenly. I depended on the residual knowledge I'd gathered ov...

The school was on fire, luckily not literally, but almost just as bad. There was a riot and whenever there was a riot terrible things happened.  It was a Friday and Kiki never saw it coming. One minute everything was fine and dandy, the next minute she heard the approaching sound of many masculine voices chanting. Her roommates had travelled so she was alone in the room just lounging. She peeked through her window and observed that other ladies in the hostel had come out of their rooms either to ask questions or discuss what was going on. Some looked scared with their arms folded across their chests while others talked confidently like they knew the details.  The chant was getting closer and closer. She closed the windows and sat on her bed wondering what to do next. Then the screaming started. Something was wrong. What started as a faraway chants had suddenly turned into a stampede in the Margret Thatcher Hostel. She heard female screams and male shouts. Apparently t...

She watched through the window as Chiji drove in through the gate. The gate keeper helped him take some stuff out of the car and he made his way into the house. The days she would excitedly rush down to welcome him home had gone eons ago. What was the point when he was always as unresponsive as a metal pole? The kids were fast asleep, time to shower and catch some sleep for herself. She stood up and headed for the bathroom for her evening shower. She felt alive for the first time in a long time. Maybe it was a sense of adventure in the fact that she was doing something that she would never have thought of doing some years back. Maybe it was reuniting with Ken that made her feel extra alive.  After another chat he'd asked for her number and she had gladly given it. Calls were always better. Hearing his voice for the first time after so many years bathed her with a warmth that was unbelievable . He still sounded the same. Nothing had changed. “You still listen to MJ?” he was ...

Ken was always going to be the underdog. It was as if fate wouldn’t permit her to have the one thing that could bring her joy. As she bathed her kids and got them ready for sleep she thought about him more freely . No use struggling to keep thoughts of him out of her mind. Her response to his message and her consequent resolve to get back in touch with him opened up the dam she had kept securely locked up for 12 years. She remembered every little detail. It was eerie how clear it was after these years. There were no grey areas, everything was crystal clear. She remembered. It was her second year. No guy had succeeded in hunting her down during the crazy JAMB rush so she was still very single. She was a tad too mature for all that. Truth was she never had interests in starting a relationship with any campus boy; she was eyeing bigger fish that were already swimming in the corporate world. Her friends would ‘yab’ her for her aloofness, “Don’t mind Kiki, she did her own matric befo...

They drove in absolute silence. His concentration on the road ahead seemed a bit too much. She knew there were no streetlights on this side of town but then the headlights on their car worked just fine, that and the headlights on all the other cars ensured the road was well illuminated. As usual she would make some effort to start a conversation but he would respond only in grunts, monosyllables and an occasional pissed look on his face. As always she would fall into silence, feeling a bit rejected. Eventually she would search in her purse and fish out her phone. Hello Insta baby, hi Facebook, whatsapp! Whatsapp! Faithful friends, wonderful conversations. It’d become a circle and she was caught up in. Why ask her to join him if he was going to treat her like a stranded stranger he picked along the road on a very wet and stormy day. She was always excited whenever she had to go out with him, even if it was the shortest distance. Out of the few remaining things they still did togethe...

Stuck in a traffic jam along presidential Road yesterday, I was not in a very pleasant mood. I had  a very important appointment to catch up with and I had no intention of appearing late. At least 30 hawkers lined the different sides of the road selling from minty bubble gums to paintings. Usually if I was bored enough I would use the opportunity to test my haggling  prowress on hawkers or just simply get on their nerves by staring long and hard at their ware  when I know I have no intention of buying anything. Within seconds, as if I called each of them telepathically, they would all break into a mad run for my car 'Madam, gala' 'Loolo, buy lacasera' 'Fine woman , buy this kaajad glasses, madamu kajara akaja' 'Wiper' , 'dryfish' , 'soup container' 'Buy rat poison' that one always annoyed me 'I dont have rat in my house' I would retort Then he would give me that 'yea right' look. But yesterday I maintain...

Do you remember that guy or girl you fell in love with as a teenager? Maybe he/she was your bff’s sibling or just some random PYT (pretty young thing) or TDH (tall, dark and handsome) stranger that always swaggered or swung past your house. For some reason your attention was captured and that triggered off the hormones responsible for silly day dreams and heart tremors. Yes! That one you always did “notice me or I die” for. Luckily for some of us, as teens that imagination never had the chance to blossom or grow into anything or grow anywhere outside our heads because we either had extremely nosy siblings or parents who would literally knock your daylights out if they even suspected. Bottom line there was always someone around to pour sand into your emotional garri or knock you back into the straight and narrow path. Very few feelings can equal the ‘falling in love’ feeling. I tell you very few things can. That feeling eh! I know there is always a reason for whatever God designs b...

'Why don't you just join the army?' Even though he said it jokingly I knew it was not a compliment. That was my hubby's response to me 6 years ago when I felt being a woman was all minus and no plus and I handled our marital issues with alot of aggression . I was convinced that whatever issue I had with my hubby then was always going to end on his terms. I felt no one understood me  so I set out to protect myself. Almost every issue seemed to have one solution, submit to your husband and I was literally sick and tired of hearing that . Why was that the solution to every problem?, why did I have to bend over to breaking point to get my marriage to work?, why do I have to be the one to loose weight and work tirelessly to remain attractive to this man? Why ? Why ? Why? I just wanted someone to understand things from my point of view. It was in the course of that  rough patch in marriage that I discovered the Holy Spirit in a whole new way. I could vent my frustratio...

Believe me or not I'm not trying to be controversial. I know some people will be outraged at my opinion but...well...it doesn't matter! Feminism has nothing to offer me so I have no interest in it. The same way bird watching or lets say philately has never captured my attention because I believe they add nothing to me in any way. Any ideology that doesn't make me a bit more like Jesus  or make me believe there is something worth loving in others or make me treat others the way I would want them to treat me is a complete waste of time. We live in a dog eat dog world so why are we hell bent on making things so complicated. The average man thinks women are having it too easy, they think our lives are just about our makeup and heels and looking pretty and having them pay all the bills.Women on the other hand think men are masochist who are running the world to hell. Can't we all just get along?   The one that annoys me most is when these feminist bring God into ...